I'm Believing You{Sebastian x Reader}-4

"39, hm," Sebastian mumbles. 

"Something you'd like to say Mr. Michaelis?" She replies in a matter-of-fact tone. He slips the measuring tape off of her chest and paces to her front side.

"Arms up please."

"uh huh, that's what I thought." She raises her arms and allows him to take more measurements. The evening had been quiet. Neither of the two dared to speak anything more than casualties, well, rude casualties. [F/n] knew that Sebastian had something against her but she couldn't figure out why. Many people hate just to hate but Sebastian is a demon and that's not something they bother to do. Their hate was long and acquired. It took Vincent a few months to grant her hate. It all triggered when he took that vile of blood and locked it to his body as an eternal threat. The way he made her blood boil after that. 

She had to give it to him, it was smart. Vincent was a man of great power and wit. It was almost ironic. Now she herself was playing the role of his sister.

Sebastian mumbles another measurement and walks back behind her. His voice lingered in her head. The foul accusations that hissed in her face. They were a puzzle she couldn't solve.

"You think it's funny to play these games with my head do you? To pretend you don't remember. Well I certainly do because they didn't have to kill me to get my participation. I remember exactly what you did and said--what we did and said and I regret all of it! I never meant those things! I just said them as a boy to get you to help me!"

Games? Remember? Participation? Regret?

Those were the ones that stayed on her mind the most. And thanks to the insane hormones that came with the changing, they also made her feel crazy things. At first those were the ones that scared her beyond imagination. What had she done to make him reget things

Then her mind thought more practically. She got angry. How dare he spit in her face about things she doesn't remember? It's like punishing an infant for somehow making out a curse word. It doesn't know the cruelity of the word or it's explicit meaning! He also accused her of something she didn't do! She didn't remember. 

Had she met him before? Perhaps sometime when she was a demon, some side quest the had no memory of. Maybe it was one of the times she got drunk. Oh God! She discarded the drunk thought immeditally.

Why can't I remember? What is wrong with me? What did I do to him?  The anger faded and a new feeling took over.  

Tears gathered in her eyes. Tears, real tears. It had been so long since she felt them accumulate in her eyes. They soon slipped from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks leaving lines where it stripped away a streak of powdered make-up. After they first few fell many more came rapidly. Her throat hitched as she tried to inhale and a small sniffle came after it. It was enough for her to loose her posture. "[F/n]!-[F/n]?" Sebastian calls to her. He moved to her front side with care. He caught sight of her tears and his eyes widened in shock. 

She look back at him and let herself cry without care. They were still in Ciels office but Ciel had left to his studies to practice his Latin. She couldn't have let Ciel she her in such a state. 

"I-I am sorry!" She moaned, "I'm sorry for not remembering and for singing the song and I'm sorry for whatever I have done to you but I swear I cannot remember anything about you previous to the day you opened the front doors to me." Sebastian stared for a moment in disbelief. He shook his head and took her hands in his.

"It is alright," he assured her. With gentle movements he led her to the seat on the offering side of Ciel's desk. Her body had begun to shake. "Are you cold?" She shakes her head from side to side.

"N-no, I'm fine." She muttered, wrapping her arms around her sides. Sebastian knelt down beside her so that they were even. Her head was leaned down and tears were still rolling down her face and dripping off her chin. They landed on the lap of her dress making the color darken. He took his gloved hand and tilted her chin up so that her [e/c] eyes met with his. Her lips trembled, "I'm sorry." Her voice was now a whisper.

"Enough of that, apology accepted, I forgive you. Do you understand that? It's over alright? Look at me, I'm believing you. No more tears okay?" He says. [F/n] furrows her eyebrows and turned her head.

"Just like that?"


He nodded, "just like that. Now I'm going to give these measurements to the talior and beg her to make your gown in time for the ball. You are going to go and take a bath, change into clean clothes, and relax for a bit, okay?" When she didn't respond he spoke again, "it's okay, it's going to be alright." 


[F/n] stopped crying and sniffling. The phrase was so idiotic and childish, something mother's say to their children when they stay out and get drunk for the first time. But it meant so much. She nodded and stood up. Sebastian stood with her and picked up a chart with her measurements. "Thank you," she whispered. 


"It's nothing," and with that he left to town. [F/n] stood there for a moments gathering her thoughts. She left the office and asked the house maid to run her a bath. May-Rin very willingly obliged to do so. When the bath was full [F/n] took off her clothing and slipped into the warm bath water, letting out a small moan as it insulated her tired body.

Four days worth of dirt, sweat, and grime all fled her body and was replaced by the sweet, fruity smells of the soaps. She let herself seep into the water so that her nose and up was all that stuck out. Memories of the sweet kisses shared between herself and Zeke buzzed in her mind. It was almost painful waiting for her next blackout. She wanted to know what happened.

As Tod had told her, the memories would end with her transformation into a demon. So she knew that the story was sure to end dramatically. Perhaps they had to kill somebody to run away, or maybe Zeke was nothing but a serial killer and she had to defend herself by driving a garden tool into his stomach allowing his insides to spill out. Yes that would be enough to drive herself crazy. 

It was still a mystery to her. The only way to figure it out was to wait. For a moment she thought about running into a wall to knock herself out but Tod had told her they would come naturally so she decided it was better to wait.

A small rapping startled her and made her jump slightly. When the maid spoke she slightly laughed and relaxed again. "I have your clothes here."

"Go on, bring them in," she replies sliding back down. May-Rin enters the room and shuts the door behind her. She sets the dress down and exchanged it for a nearby towel. [F/n] groaned at the thought of leaving her solitude tub and having the cold air grasp at her body. May-Rin patiently waited for her to get the will to pull herself out of the bath. Just as assumed, the air sucked goosebumps at her flesh. 

The maid was fast to wrap the towel around [F/n] and fetch the dress. [F/n] began to dry herself off, she didn't much like servants doing that for her. She avoided it if possible. Putting on a dress on the other hand, was a bit more undodgeable. May-Rin held out a pretty red dress. [F/n] did as she was guided to do and allowed herself to be helped. Once this was done the maid tied [F/n]'s hair up in a pretty bun that allowed her bangs to hang loosely. 

Turning back to the mirror was a shock. The silky, crimson dress was tight fitted around her torso. Little lines delicatly twisted into dark swirls ran through the closer part. Just like any other victorian dress, it did flatter the bosom. A 'U' neck with no lace, that was different. Maybe it was just to be casual and comfatroble. At the waist the fabric loosened and expanded lazily with no extreme bounce. It was stunning.

"My this was a perfectly choosen dress! You do look smashing!" The maid cheers. [F/n] smiles and nods.

"Thank you May-Rin." 


-Littly Bitty Time Skip-

[F/n] knew it was coming. She knew she was going to black out any second. She had gotten dizzy and nauseous an hour ago while running around the manor trying to make sure everything was okay. Sebastian finally forced her into a seat. With much protest she finally fell in the chair with her heart pounding from exhaustion. Now her body was only teasing her. Like when one waves a treat in front of a dog, you can see it, but you just can't reach it.

"Sebastian!" She yelled from her chair. "Could you bring me a glass of water? I'm not feelings so- arg!" She cringed as what felt like a giant sword plunged into her gut. Both hands flew to her lower stomach and began to messuage the area. Seconds later a gloved hand was offering a clear glass of iced water. "Thank you," she took the glass from his hand and sipped at it.

"Cramping I see." The butler stated nonchalantly walking in front of the chair and looking down at her. <div>